i mean seriously, why do we have toenails still? all ten of them should take advantage of our present racial revolution in america and march on washington along with their third-class citizen bretheren, the apendixes, and demand their freedom.
so arthur’s pass, population 50, turned out to be population 25. no joke. all 25 of them were super nice though, especially the doc employees. this fella named patty was kind enough to give me a lift back to town from the end of the trail…25kms away. good thing too, that would have added about 4 hours onto my day. another doc employee was ultra-keen on everything, he even authored the mountaineering guide for the park. so when i got it through my head that i should hike up avalanche peak at 2am to catch the sunrise, the owner of the hostel gave him a call. not only did he get back to me, but he actually drove over to the hostel and talked to me about it, how cool is that?? of course, those of you that know me well will realize right away that there was no way in hell that i was actually going to wake up at 2am and hike up a mountain.
the actual hiking in the park was pretty rough, it is basically a series of valleys running parallel to each other with giant mountains in between, these mountains are covered at the base with thick bush that will eat you. you might have noticed that i walk in valleys a lot, they are really pretty and you can fish in them, but they are also pretty boring after a while. i mean, there is only so many variations of a winding stream in between two hills, so after my first valley walk i decided to have a go at one of these peaks. oh man. the problem with getting out of the valleys is that you usually have to climb, because the ski lifts don’t operate in the summer here. no really, there were ski lifts, my hike started at the base of temple basin, which is a pretty legendary snowboarding hill out here. after climbing 700 meters of scree(2 steps up, 1 slide down the whole way up), i got up to temple col. that was when i entered tiger country. i have never fought through bush like this before, i was basically sidle-swimming through shoulder high spiky and pointy crap for 3 hours. all the while mindful of the gorge i always ended up near as well as various ravines slicing through the hillside. good god, my plans to bush bash up to the next ridge line the following day were quickly abandoned.
day 1: the view from temple col is outstanding, but calling this an accomplishment is akin to bragging about having the world record in ‘number of times you can get punched in the face without losing consciousness.’
when i finally arrived at the hut, bruised, bleeding, and defeated, i was greeted by a group of 7 red cross workers who walked for 12 hours on the track in preparation for the upcoming coast to coast race. the event itself is a 151 mile death march from the east coast to the west coast, the record is a little over 10 hours, and the kiwi who did it is a legend. as far as the volunteers go, well it took them 12 hours to walk a 6 hour trail, their packs looked to have a weeks worth of stuff for an overnight trip and most of them looked like they hadn’t even walked the dog in a few years. i mean, don’t get me wrong, good effort on their part and it is awesome they are volunteering, i’m just saying it’s a good thing they are being helicoptered in for the actual event. the bad thing was that most of them smelled really bad after their ordeal in the sticks and snored, so i had a rough time getting to bed. this of course doesn’t hold a light to my folly, apparently i left the tap on overnight and i woke up to an empty 2,000 liter water tank. the karma police got me the next day and i ripped my shirt on a tree branch. oh man.
then i met janet, she was also a doc worker bee, her job was to walk around the park and observe people, checking to see if there were any guides operating illegally. we talked it up a lot and had a few beers, then she offered to give me a ride back to christchurch, how sweet is that, saved me about $40. excellent. while i was in christchurch i picked up a hep a/thypoid vaccination and some anti-malarial pills that wikipedia tells me also serve to help alleviate montezuma’s revenge, and only $20 for a 3 months supply! when i was in arthur’s pass i met some canadiens who had the poo pretty bad, apparently they picked up crypto somewhere in the south island and were stuck in a hospital for 2 weeks, now they filter and uv sterilize all of their drinking water. i guess i don’t blame them, but it sure seemed like a lot of hassle.
well after getting poked with a needle and told to put on plenty of bug juice so i don’t get japanese encephalitis i got on a bus for nelson, the supposed promised land of good weather and beaches. as soon as i stepped off the bus i could see palm trees and smell the salt in the air, i was actually homesick for the first time since i went to ymca camp when i was like 7. oh man, i miss the beach. there was a time when i used to say i wanted to move here, this of course was before i actually bothered to fly to nz and check it out, but honestly, america’s finest city is still the nicest place i have ever been. the sad thing about the beaches here is that as nice as they are, and they are pretty sweet in nelson, you really can’t just go and lay out on the sand. the world health organization set up a standard scale, from 1-11+, for measuring the uv levels. every day i have been in nelson, it has been 13. go go skin cancer!
that’s it for now, i only have about 7 more weeks left in this part of tomorrow and then i am off to bangkok. megan has decided to meet me out there, i am super excited about that, it is going to be a blast. i found this pretty sweet poem by barry smith in one of the huts, and i would like to share it with you now.,.,
high in a valley
night drags slow
quick and as sharp
as a passing meteor
you discover
the wealth of a man
resides under the eaves
of his tent
