spicy fried squid
“hey, everybody! listen up for a second. derek and matilda are hiding ’cause some dudes brainwashed derek to off the prime minister of micronesia.”
warning: i am going to drone on and on about eating in this post. if you do not like food, hate it when all i do is talk about food(todd), or you are on a diet, turn back!
some of you may know that i like food, so much so that i have devoted my entire time in penang, the proclaimed food capital of malaysia, entirely to eating. this has been no easy task; while the quality of food remains high, even by thai standards, the vast ethnic diversity of the area means the sheer amount of things to try is far beyond the scope of my three day binge. but before i get into the craziness i would like to talk about my train ride!!
there is a lady sitting at the computer next to me having a conversation using sign language on a web cam. mind blown.
best friends
i was pretty bummed to leave thailand, i had gotten very comfortable with the people, food, and culture. for some reason people started talking to me, i met a lady who had lived in florida for the last 40 years and had come back home to thailand to stay for a year or so; a really nice lady who talked to me on the bus and helped me find the train station; and a guitar playing minstrel from the south peninsula who i could barely communicate with, but he did tell me he liked metallica. anyways, i eventually made it to the station and took train 35 to malaysia. woah! i didn’t realize it at the time but depart 1445 and arrive 1245 doesn’t mean around 12 hours, it is in fact almost a full 24 hours, haha. i don’t know why i had the brain fart but let me tell you, i saw a lot of beautiful scenery, met some nice people, and was very glad that i had a bed and a double wide seat on the journey instead of being stuck in a bus seat.
somehow i got the impression that my 10 hour train ride wouldn’t have any food available so i brought a pack of oreos, a pack of oranges, a half loaf of bread, and three cans of curried chicken. oh man, you should have seen the looks on the people around me eating their meals with forks and other complicated modern implements while i was pouring curry all over white bread and going at it. the border formalities were a delight, none of this taxi from the bus station to the border followed by another taxi to the next bus station. the train stopped at the border, we showed our passports and got right back on. excellent. the only hiccup that occured was when the customs guy was inspecting my bag and asking me if i had anything he should know about. i told him i had the canned chicken, he thought i said i had chickens and was wondering where i kept them. we laughed, then he noticed my feet and asked me what size they were, i told him 13 and he told everyone else in malay, everyone laughed. a very happy introduction to the country!
the scenery on the train is so much nicer than a bus, the highways and congestion have been replaced with ride paddies and palm trees, the massive billboards with huge limestone mountains. everything is planted and it feels like we are floating on a sea of green. the whole thing reminds me of the south island of new zealand, the purest blue and deepest greens in beautiful contrast.
woah, the rapture
so here we are now, in the country where jess from south africa told me the food was ‘okay’, and i have been worried ever since. jess from south africa, what in the hell are you talking about??! the food here is not okay, it is not good, it is awesome! maybe i should have noticed she was eating a greek salad in thailand. i have eaten so much in the last two and a half days that i feel guilty. the first day i got here i took it pretty easy, had a bit of ice cream, checked out my surroundings to get an idea of where i was in town, then checked out an amazing indian food shop called sri anada bahwan. most of the good places here are just food hawkers slanging their stuff on the side of the road in carts called gerai(pretty much the same everywhere in se asia). in malaysia they group a bunch of them up into little makeshift restaurants, kind of a food stall co-op. i had never seen 95% of the stuff on the menu so i just ordered randomly: masala chapthi chicken, and some roti canai. the chapthi was almost like an omlette sandwich with chicken in it, and the cool thing about this place was they had free curry sitting on the tables to use on your naan and roti, ahh so good!
after that i went to scope out the local night market/food bazaar that was around the block from my guest house, well, i got stuck. on the way i was convinced into buying roasted chestnuts, delicious! and when i finally arrived not only were they selling ice cream and waffles, but the yankees game was on(not the bad yankees game, the one before it with jeter’s game winner). oh delicious happiness. this was the first time i have watched a baseball game since leaving the states because communist new zealand thinks NETBALL is more important than playoff baseball. suffice to say i was very happy, and woah, the yankees’ new scoreboard is awesome.
if i didn’t have to meet jake on the 22nd in kuala lumpur i would probably stay here for a week so that i might have a proper go at the whole thing. maybe i’ll just give him directions from the airport.
neat wall
the next day, and the last day i planned on staying, was devoted to the rumored mecca of gastronomy, gurney plaza. gurney plaza is the centerpiece of the beachfront gurney lane, a massive mall complex with an impressive indoor food court as well as a sea of stalls surrounding it. after sweating for about 30 minutes i finally made it. what a glorious site, in thailand most of the food stalls sell the same thing, here the competition seems to be so stiff that everyone has their own little niche with only one or two people selling the same thing. heaven. i was a little bummed to see that most of the stuff leading up to the mall was more expensive fish and that sort of thing(shark fin soup anyone?) but i stayed strong and headed to the mall’s air conditioned food court, picked up some penang assam laksa(awesome!), and oreo mcflurry, pondered getting bird’s nest soup, but ended up with a chocolate chip and custard filled eclaire ahhh! oh god, terrible mistake, soon after exiting the mall a little bummed by the whole selection i noticed the real food court next door. i was not prepared for this, i had already eaten at least two meals worth of crap inside the mall and here i was confronted with what looked to be the highlight of the region. i quickly braced myself for the shock and sat down at the pasembor stall. the fellow calling the shots there quickly explained to meet what my choices were, handed me some tongs, and told me to go for it. i grabbed some squid, potatoes, and a bunch of fried goodness and thought i was done. oh no, he chopped it all up and added what looked like shredded zucchini and a spicy chili sauce over the entire affair, i added a KICKAPOO juice to the mix and pulled the trigger.
scratch that, if i stayed here for an entire week i would die. i would seriously explode if i bumped into a corner or something, like the gluttony fellow in se7en.
eating a freakin' volcano
eventually i decided to extend my stay to a third day and went on to destroy 17 different meals in just over 7 sittings, yes, i think that is horrible also. without going into too much more detail i will try and explain a couple of the more memorable eats. curry bowl/loaf, this was exactly like a chowder bowl, except with curry, and the bread was more of a roll; rajuk was chopped up fruit covered in a spicy sweet black sauce that i did not finish; teochew chendu!! this was the best snowcone i have ever had, shaved ice in a bowl covered in a bunch of weird but great flavored sugar syrups, gum drop looking things, red beans, sweet corn and black gummy worms, i have no other way to describe this, very strange and good; rote tissu, a giant conical tortilla covered in honey, this and a chai and i was ready for anything.
crazy graffiti
ok, so no more food? well there was plenty more but i don’t want to risk getting hungry again! the city itself is fantastic, it is mainly that nifty architecture that reminds me of new orleans, a million different colors and falling apart, but quite beautiful. the sewer and drainage system is completely open and i would not want to be walking down the street drunk at night. the climate is exactly like the rest of coastal asia, hot, humid, and evening rains. for some reason, i think it might even be getting hotter the closer i get to the equator! crazy i tell you. i am pretty sure he would like to meet her haha. the shop keepers try their best though, everyone has the a/c completely maxed out and all of their doors thrown open, walking down the street turns into a kind of ’stay out of the lava’ game that we used to play as kids. instead of jumping from pieces of furniture you are scurrying from spot of shade to open electronics store and then quickly under a tree. the weather isn’t all bad though, i was lucky to meet a fellow named durai tonight, we stuck out a short downpoor together next to a chinese temple. he is a mechanic at the local mercedes dealership and a super nice guy that shook my hand about 20 times and after showing him my pictures, commented on my sisters beauty.
some room art
and that is it, my tummy hurts and i want to stay longer but i am leaving for the capital tomorrow morning…well, just as soon as i get some dim sum haha.
