Life Between Naps

I can’t sleep at night.

Have you ever had a big event coming up and you just can’t wait for it, you can’t sleep because of it? Maybe it is a trip to Hawaii, or your first time skydiving; perhaps you are like me, and Halloweenie gets you giddy and ripe with excitement.

But no, in the end, I’m in it for something else.

Doing well in school? Merp, school is a means. Making good money at a job that you enjoy?  The word “job” should point you in the right direction. Content with life and looking forward to your next day off? Well, somebody has to pay the bills.

A few times a week I have a dream. Not a specific dream, though I do have those, but a dream about a person. I wake up from the dream and my mind starts racing, like a photon towards the singularity. And at 3 in the morning all I can do is to tell myself to think of nothing, to imagine a void, and let my mind slowly slip into it, away from her. Sometimes this works, but more often than not, I lie awake for an hour or so until I figure it out.

The dream doesn’t matter.

It is only my mind’s eye trying to point me in the right direction.

Inevitably it does, and I think of a happy time. Of course I am happy now, just a different kind.

A time when I did what I wanted, when I wanted to, because I wanted to. I think of Korea, the overwhelming sight of Korean characters and squid burgers. I can remember hiking in New Zealand, eyes full of rain… rain, rain, rain, a little bit of green, and a lot of smiles. I laugh at Asia, seriously, I laugh at you! Megan and Jake, walking by my side, experiencing first hand why you don’t drink the water. But in the end, I am smiling, and falling asleep again.

Vodka, soda, and apple juice – bad. Vodka, soda, and blood orange juice – good.

I have a confession to make.

About a week after returning home, I wanted to leave again, and I have been saving my money since. At first, I didn’t even realize it; after all, I have always been good about saving. But eventually it became obvious, I want to explore, I need to explore, and my savings account is getting heavy.

It is probably my own doing,

I want nothing more than to move, to see, to feel, and above all else, to taste. But within the comfort of friends and family I settle down, I make my money and I enjoy myself. But I am restless, and this contentment eats away at me constantly, until… well, until this. I am constantly looking at backpacking trips, always looking at new gear, and smashing that stumbleupon button as if it can possibly show me what destination is the answer.

Europe? Central America? Patagonia? Pan-American Highway road trip? East Coast? Vancouver road trip? 2014 World Cup/Brazil/ South America road trip of ultimate awesomeness?… they will all  end up in the same boat, another trip taken.

What I really want is what I left for in the first place. New Zealand. An entire country of outdoors, right outside your back door. I look through the pictures every week, I think of the people I met there every day.

Basically, I am Frodo, wanting to return to the Shire. OK, OK, just kidding.

But man, I want nothing than to go back. One month, 3 or 4 trips and a visit to wonderful Wanaka. Ooh baby, Brazil can wait ’til 2014, New Zealand and the dum is where it’s at, momma.

When I was traveling, I carried a notebook that I filled with observations, which I would sometimes quote in my blogs like this. I think I should start carrying around a notebook again, the world was much more memorable.

But don’t worry, I’m sure nothing will change and I will still be here and I won’t go anywhere and no tickets will be bought and no plans will be made and I’ll just be the perfect citizen of Carlsbad until my toes fall off from diabetes and I am sitting on the couch watching Matlock wondering why I never took ONE more trip, took ONE more chance, and found love ONE more time. There will also be one more run-on sentence, after I finish explaining my endearment of corporate interests and how they relate to my love for bartending in a corporate environment, and the overall theme of generalities that my blogs usually encompass.

p.s. I’m like,  a softmore at SDSU, and i really want to see the world and meet girls in London!

p.s.s We must return to the grab-a-lobster claw game in Long Beach!

2010 was a great year!

Oh man, I just spent a couple of hours uploading the 400 or so best pictures from the past year. That made me smile. There were a lot of smiles. It is funny how it takes a year of awesome to come to an end to realize just how much fun you had. Between the bachelor parties, weddings, baseball games, and all the amazing people I met along the way, I really don’t know how 2011 will be able to compare.

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of my friends that got married, I love bachelor parties! But seriously, congratulations to James and Michelle Chapel, Billy and Lindsey Nuttall, Ed and Renee Fernandez, and of course, James and Andrea Kim(for part 2!). You guys all had great receptions and that, of course, is an excellent indicator of future happiness! The weddings were also pretty good as far as those things go. Though, I do regret not getting up at each and every one of your receptions to deliver what would have obviously been a very memorable congratulations, I’m sure your parents are happy I did not.

I just realized I have been typing using proper capitalization, oh dear.

I saw them standing there, just pretending to be friends, when all the time in the world could not pry them apart.

-Some random quote from my book o’ quotes

Well, after a slow start to the year, spring really got things cooking around here. James and Michelle surprised us all with a freaking keg right behind our table at their wedding, the great Joey Alfano got us into a super amazing roof top party to celebrate opening day at Petco Park, Megs and I went to Coachella, and of course, I started dating Miss Bloughlin. This break neck month would set the tone for what would become a very bad summer for saving money.

Coachella was simply amazing. Jay-Z was the surprise hit of the weekend, after wine pong and baby wipes of course, and the Gorillaz kinda fell flat on their face. None of the acts really mattered though because I was fortunate to go with my favorite traveling buddy, my sister Megan. We camped out, ate dust, fought off the drug dealers that were circling the grounds, and met a lot of super people…all while avoiding the 200 degree Indio heat. Success!

Once I made the move to beautiful Carlsbad, I took full advantage of the local Coaster station to ride down to Padre games, with Todd and Brianna ridin’ shotgun. What better company to enjoy your $9 beer?? The coaster is a really sweet deal because they let you bring alcohol on board, a double edged sword of amazing. It is so nice being able to have a few beers before your wallet is ripped out of your hands downtown, but the ride back can be particularly painful when everyone is still trying to party and you are feeling like the Padres at the end of this year’s season. Much nicer than a DUI though.

Summer was a blur of bachelor parties, working 6 days a week, and living walking distance to Carlsbad’s finest boozeries. I made about as much as I spent and it was worth every single penny. It is such a relief to know that even though my friends seem to be growing up, they still know how to have a good time when the going gets tough. There are of course videos and pictures to prove this, but they have come up missing.

Adam and I have finally perfected our cheese dip, much to the dismay of our future offspring. But while chili pork and artificial cheese product seem to coat everything in gold, I am becoming increasingly certain that the magical properties of Velveeta might be having a negative impact on my future. Luckily it pairs nicely with Heaven’s Nectar, the Golden Beauty of Tecate.

Winter time is always slow, the initial crispness in the air seems to inevitably turn to cold. But this year has been different, and I am so excited about 2011. Kevin is home, everyone is married or engaged, school is starting again, babies are being made, I finally found a hiking friend, the trails are getting muddy again, beer will be made, new Coachella plans are in the works. I’ll never forget this year. It brought my brother home safely, straight A’s, new friendship, amazing experiences, new opportunities, happiness, and love.

And just like that, it is over. It all started with a Beach Break and a Stone, and ended with some magical eggnog. It is strange how things can be flying by so fast that all you can do is stand back and stare in amazement at how great it all is. Then one day you wake up and can barely breathe. The ball drops, taking with it what seemed to be the happiest thing in your life, and leaving you with a fresh, new year.

 

 

 

“I’m a good jumper, he said. But I’m not so good at landing. Maybe you should stay closer to the ground then, I said. He shook his head and said the ground was the whole problem in the first place”

Don’t be afraid of the ground.

Happy 2011, friends.